Bizarre
and hideous fates follow yet another sorry lot of young people who only thought
they’d cheated Death. For those who think that the idea of Death following
people is pretty silly, note that the people in the movie thought so too, and
they DIED!
A review of this movie is
rather beside the point for those who’ve seen the first two in the series. The
formula is, a group of young people embark on an ill-fated ride. Someone has a
“vision” and succeeds in saving some but not others. But then, in a bizarre
extrapolation of Calvinist theology, Death follows them like a jealous lover
and hunts them down. Like a warped Rube Goldberg cartoon come to life, the
deaths involve a series of outlandish coincidences involving ordinary objects
that suddenly become dangerous. (Even more outlandishly, there are no trial
lawyers in any of these movies.) Director James Wong, returning from FD1,
provides helpful close-ups of the objects that will cause these workplace
mishaps. If only OSHA inspectors had been doing their jobs. Since the series is
up to number three, the character in the movie can helpfully explain the
premise by saying, Hey, remember [that stuff that happened in the first
movie]? This is just like that. I won’t describe the accident that forms
the basis of FD3, but the movie opens in an amusement park. Later, the
soundtrack ironically features the Ohio Players’ 1978 hit “Love Rollercoaster”
as a prelude to perhaps the most hideous deaths in the R-rated movie. The park
sequence is actually quite effective. I felt more nervous than when I actually
rode a coaster. But the rest of the movie is just a game as we see the guilt-ridden
heroine try to try save her friends from their fates, not realizing that if she
succeeds, there’s no movie, and no more sequels.
posted 9/12/13
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