First of all, I should say that not only was I a fan of the first Pirates movie, but I even liked the second, which seemed to split people. True, the plot was little more than an excuse for a series of set pieces, but they were really good set pieces, and in Davy Jones a worthy new villain was introduced. But gosh, what a bore this was.
There’s no reason why this should be. There’s the same director (Gore Verbinski) and writers (Ted Elliot, Terry Rossio) as before, and nearly every significant character from the other two returns. But the script is just lousy. There’s less action than before, which would be okay if what’s replaced it was at all good, or original, or comprehensible. (If you haven’t seen the previous installment, forget about it.)
Things start off with Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightly) heading for Singapore to negotiate (or steal) a boat and crew to rescue Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), the fey drunk who went down with his ship at the end of Dead Man’s Chest. Here we find the only major new character, a warlord played by Chow Yun Fat who’s most memorable for his facial scars. Meanwhile Sparrow is talking to himself, literally. Someone apparently figured that with Sparrow being such a fascinating fellow and all, it would be genius to clone him. Perhaps the same someone who decided to turn the annoying voodoo priestess Tia Dalma (Naomi Harris) into a major character?
Tia Dalma is there to help Barbossa, Swann, and Swann’s erstwhile fiancé Will Turner (an underused Orlando Bloom) rescue Jack from the titular “world’s end,” which turns out be a much duller place than you might think. After that, Barbossa quarrels with Jack, Jack quarrels with Will, Will quarrels with Elizabeth, Elizabeth quarrels with Jones (Bill Nighy), and everybody tricks somebody or gets tricked. All told, there’s about two stupefying hours of this bickering, dickering, and snickering. The lengthy battle sequence climax at least kept me awake, though even that could have been better. It more or less resolves the military and romantic subplots of the trilogy, but in a silly, unconvincing way. Here and there are some decent moments, most involving Knightly (who arguably has the lead role), but there are no true highlights. Yes, $100 million of special effects look good, yet with the exception of the dueling Jacks and some crabs, they’re the same effects you’ve already seen in service of a plot—and I use the term loosely—that’s mostly rehash and major characters who we learn nothing new about.
Perhaps the weight of expectations, or the need to tie up all those plotlines, has caused the production to collapse under its own weight. The result isn’t quite as bad as Spy Kids 3-D, or Austin Powers in Goldmember, but it’s the most disappointing of May’s three trilogy endings.
By the way, there’s a short scene after the closing credits, should you wish to get your full 167 minutes’ worth.
[reviewed 5/27/07]
IMDB link
I seemed to like this a lot more than you did. Who wouldn't want to see Johnny Depp again? (I must say that the Jack Sparrow face character at Disney World could be Depp's twin!)
ReplyDeleteThat being said, there is a lot that could have been cut from this movie without losing the story and that would have left more openings for the Orlando Bloom screen time.
I would like to elaborate on which parts I think could be cut or shortened, but I don't want to give away anything to people who haven't seen it yet.
Best line:
What ARRR you doing? P) (pirate smiley).