? A New England optometrist (Matthew Broderick) gets jealous when a new neighbor (Danny DeVito) seems to be usurping his position as his town’s unofficial Christmas guru.
+ DeVito’s a pretty good fit for the role of a perennial
screw-up (and slick salesman) who finds a purpose in his quest to put up enough
Christmas lights to make his house visible from space. The house is crass but
impressive to look at.
- This is as
screechingly awful as a sleigh on dry pavement. Even the music is obnoxious. It
sort of reminded me of the Steve Martin Cheaper by the Dozen sequel,
except the kids and spouses are relegated to more minor roles while dad behaves
idiotically and gets dumped on (almost literally). Near the beginning,
Broderick’s son frets that he’s ten yet hasn’t accomplished anything. This is
the sort of phony behavior you usually only see in terrible sitcoms, but the
boy’s pre-midlife crisis is resolved without explanation anyway. A running gag
where DeVito’s daughters are supposed to be slutty bimbos is similarly artificial,
more crass than funny. But the focus is mostly on the dads, especially
Broderick, who’s insufferable. When the inevitable attempt to tug at the
heartstrings occurs, you’ll barely care. If the movie had just ended at that
point, at least it would have conveyed a positive message. But the ending
reinforces that it Christmas really is about garish displays. And please,
someone get Kristin Davis, who plays Broderick’s suffering spouse, a decent
role, or at least a decent on-screen husband. The ex-Sex on the City actress’s
other gig in 2006 was as Tim Allen’s wife in The Shaggy Dog. Woof.
= *1/2 I didn’t think
there’d be a worse holiday-themed movie in 2006 than the Santa Clause 3, but
I may have been wrong. If the kids beg you to see a movie about a middle-aged
guy being a jackass for 90 minutes, this is the Christmas turkey to choose.
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